I am hanging out for Monday when we finally get to see the Pediatrician, and HOPEFULLY have a plan put in place so that Viv can begin gaining weight and 'thriving'.
I never thought that we would have a baby that was a 'faliure to thrive' but that's our reality. Vivi's reflux means that she is not able to take in as much food as say, a regular baby with no issues. The food she does take in will often get regurgitated back up again, or sometimes she refuses to feed altogether and I'm lucky if I manage to get any food in her at all.
Of course, this isn't to say that there aren't good days when she eats well and doesn't seem to be in too much pain, but the flipside is that she'll have a day like today when it takes almost an hour and a half just to get her to drink 100mls of food, where she'll start screaming and arching away from me as soon as I place her in my lap to feed her, where she'll finally latch on to the bottle and eat maybe 10mls before pulling away screaming.
What really annoys me is that you really feel like you have to 'explain yourself' to certain health professionals when your baby is not gaining the adequate amount of weight. I felt this way the last time we visited Plunket and many times before this. 'Your baby needs to eat more' is what i have been told in the past, and that is all very well and good (and pretty blardy obvious!) but what do you do when they simply will not eat? syringe it down their throat? I have tried everything known to man to get her to eat and some days I feel as though we're fighting a losing battle.
We have also had to endure comments from the Plunket nurse that our baby is 'looking lean around the abdomen' (and leaner since she was last seen a week ago) and then an explanation that this is a cause for concern and something they check for. Hardly reassuring comments. As if we weren't worried enough already!
I think it has finally sunk in to our Plunket nurse however that it's not a question of us not trying hard enough to feed her, it's that she is a baby with a pretty significant medical issue that is preventing her from eating well and gaining weight.
I like to call it 'reflux hell' because at times it feels as though it's a stage that's never going to end, every feed is a battle ground and it's the most frustrating thing in the world when your baby is hungry and wants to eat but is unable to because they are in pain. Some days I really dread feeding her, and feel so anxious that even if I do manage to get her to eat that it won't be enough. It impacts on your life in that you end up not wanting to go out (or wanting to go out but feeling unable to), because the feeds are such a mission even at home in familiar surroundings.
Roll on Monday and the specialist! I just hope I can hang on until then.
2 comments:
To add one thing, we've decided to stop using Plunket as our wellchild provider and go to the GP for weighings and stuff. Plunket were too stressful.
I really don't like my Plunket nurse. She told me if babies are asking for food earlier than 3hrs I shouldn't be feeding them, as other ways I will spend all day feeding. And when I asked her about growth spurts she said there is no such thing, and that babies go through a needy stage not a growth spurt!! Might have to do what you're about to do and see a GP instead. Plunket is very stressful and very unhelpful! Elle.
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