To go, or to stay? the dilemma.

Last week I turned the grand old age of 28, and had the most wonderful birthday celebrations.... not that my previous birthdays haven't been nice, but this year, I got to spend my birthday with friends at one of my favourite resturants and see the Phoenix Foundation play live (I even spotted Jemaine from "Flight of the Conchords" standing a few meters away from us!). I now feel thoroughly spoilt, and very grateful to have such lovely, caring people around me. Photos above from the night.

So, the dilemma I am faced with is whether or not to stay in my current job. I have a few issues with my workplace, and I'm feeling a bit burnt out by having been teaching for almost three years now. I'm starting to think that it might be time to move on to a different career. Of course, now I have to sort out what skills I do have, and how I can apply them ......

Gardening blog

For those that might be interested, I have created a gardening blog with my best friend, Ali. You can view it here!

http://www.kiwigardeners.blogspot.com

The 94th Post

What a milestone!

Today is technically my last day of freedom, before Thursday heralds a return to the routine and monotony of work.

Ok, so it isn't all that bad. Surely you can get used to everything after a while, right? well I have certainly got used to being on holiday! it must be over six weeks now - a long time - and time enough to get settled into that routine of planning your day based on what you want to do.

I haven't done much today, but it's one of those days which isn't exactly inspiring. A little cold, grey, overcast. Kind of nothing weather, really. Just went for a walk with Tim which was nice, we had a competition to see how long I could go without talking, and I lasted around three minutes.

So in other news, Andy, who is staying with us at the moment, has brought a drum kit! so it's been fantastic listening to him play, as he is pretty damn talented. So if any of you guys need a drum teacher...... get in touch!

You have to ask yourself

More and more in life I'm coming to realize that love is the most important thing.

Love is what binds us together, people are joined by the bonds of love. Love is what connects us to one another. Love is what makes life worth living, it is what makes us smile. It is finding a connection with another person, realizing that we are essentially the same. Love is knowing that you are connected in some way, shape, or form to everyone and everything around you.

What puzzles me is that we are not taught to focus on love and compassion and empathy, but instead are lead to indulge in hate and despair and misery. We are persuaded to be discontented with what we have, we are encouraged to immerse ourselves in the negative aspects of life, disregarding the positive. We are disciplined into seeing the faults in others, rather than their better qualities.

Our world forces us to live either in the past or future - never in the present. It is through obsession in the past, worry for what the future might bring. We are forced (whether consciously or subconsciously) to live in fear.

I want to stop fearing things that happen that I have no control over. I want to live more and experience things and enjoy being alive and surround myself with people and with love and with life! I want to reach a point where I'm not afraid anymore, where I'm not worried with what people think about me, or if I'm good enough or SMART enough or have a good job. I want to rid my life of status anxiety and worry and fear. I think I'm taking the right steps to accomplishing this. I hope I can do it.