SAHM

It's easy to be idealistic about childcare options and returning to work before you have a child. Here I was, thinking that I would return to work at the end of June, after nine months maternity leave, that we would place Vivi in a daycare centre near the hospital where I worked, that it would all go 'according to plan'. However, as we were to soon learn, not much about having a baby (or a child, for that matter) ever goes 'to plan'.

For instance, we hadn't factored into our grand plan, the fact that our daughter would have severe reflux that would take months to become managable.

Nor did I have any conception of the bond that develops between you and your child, when you spend all day with them. You are thinking about them, every waking moment.

So it didn't come as any surprise to me, when I realised that there was no way I was going to be able to return to work full time as planned. There was no way we were going to be able to put Vivi in daycare, with a bunch of people who were essentially strangers to her. I knew that I would not be able to trust anyone else to look after her.

I feel incredibly lucky that I am able to stay at home to be with Vivi, no matter how much I miss the stimulation of work and the friends I made there - being at home with our daughter (to me) is infinitely more important.

Some people are lucky enough to have parents who live in the same city, who are able to look after their children while they go to work. As one of my friends said to me 'I know that Mum and Dad love her - they really love her and want to look after her. I couldn't have gone back to work knowing that she was just being left with people who were paid to look after her. At least I know they love her in the same way that I do.'

Making the decision not to go back to work (in some respects) was one of the hardest I have ever had to make but I feel that it was the right decison for us as a family.