And the beginning of something new. This may be the last post I ever write before we become parents. The thought is exciting, although at the same time slightly too big to comprehend. I still have only the vaguest idea about what it means to be a 'parent', but I have the feeling that life will shift dramatically, more than I can begin to imagine.
I've felt really calm and a feeling of tranquility and of peace with the world, recently. This whole pregnancy appears to have been a bit of an emotional roller coaster at times, I have gone through periods of deep depression, anxiety, complete elevation in mood. You name it, I've been there. However, the last couple of weeks have provided with me with a peace of mind that I have only ever experienced rarely, and never for such a prolonged period. I just feel so ..... calm ..... like nothing can phase me. It's quite a new feeling for me, the anxieties of old having been stripped away (for now) leaving me to emerge and live life free of them (for once).
The weather today appeared to reflect my mood. It was one of those beautiful early spring days, when Wellington appears to live up to the 'You can't beat Wellington on a good day' phrase. The day dawned, bright and bold, the air was crisp and fresh with the scent of freesias and tulips from our garden, the world appeared to be wide and full of promise, enticing me to come out and play. I drew the curtains back, feeling endless opportunity wash over me, as though I would live forever and ever. It was beautiful. I made an effort to get outside and go for a walk around the neighbourhood, feeling really present in the moment and full of joy. I strode through the long grass of the nearby reserve, watching the swallows swoop and dance in the sunlight. Life really is incredible.
