Its update time

I don't think I've published anything here for quite some time, mainly because i had nothing 'positive' I wanted to say, and I didn't want to bog everyone down with negativity. I have this fear that all the stuff I write tends to be depressing crap and god forbid my friends begin to feel like unpaid counsellors! also, I was getting paranoid about people having access to how I was thinking and feeling, and after reading Ben Elton's novel 'Blind Faith' I was beginning to see the merits in keeping things private and not broadcasting it out to the world. Anyway......

March:
March was a bit of an up and down month for me. Things were fine on the home front, but I was finding the whole work situation a little challenging (to say the least). I had gone from being in a team environment to working almost completely by myself in a new environment, with new students and new staff. I had to learn a whole lot of new skills, quickly. To think on my feet and make split-second decisions - how to manage really bad student behaviour, and how to work with people i hadn't worked with before. I spent all of March feeling really tired and overwhelmed, and wanting to hide away from the world. Marathon sessions of "Smallville" with my lovely husband helped, as did being able to come home to our house in the bush. It was also nice to get away over the Easter break - to travel to Christchurch and catch up with my family down there. While I was there, we went to see 'Warbirds over Wanaka' and we took Grandad along. He was based in Cairo during the war and spent lots of time maintaining and repairing such fighter aircraft as Kitty Hawks and Spitfires. So it was fantastic to be with him at an event where we could see the old planes in action.April:
Ok, so I know we haven't had much of April so far. We have had one major development though. One of my oldest friends, Alison, has come to live with us until she buys a house down here. I have known Ali since the good old days in Christchurch (we met in 4th form at Girls High, back in 1994). We're both into similar stuff these days - gardening and baking yummy food, and discussing the mysteries of life - that kind of thing. Ali brought her bread-maker down with her, and we've been making this fantastic pizza base with it.... so we've had pizza for dinner three times in the last four days (I'm sure you would approve, James!) although I think my waistline perhaps won't be better off for it, but what the hell! so that pretty much sums up April, unless you'd like me to reiterate to you the hours I spent planning schoolwork and writing bad fanfiction and all the other mundane things that make up a person's existence.

So thank you for reading, if you'd made it this far. I'd like to thank the Academy, and James, and Jo, and Billy, Frances, Maggie, Sarah, John, and Jeremy for reading. Where would i be without my fans?

One day I'll write you guys a song...... but for now......

Good night!

To go, or to stay? the dilemma.

Last week I turned the grand old age of 28, and had the most wonderful birthday celebrations.... not that my previous birthdays haven't been nice, but this year, I got to spend my birthday with friends at one of my favourite resturants and see the Phoenix Foundation play live (I even spotted Jemaine from "Flight of the Conchords" standing a few meters away from us!). I now feel thoroughly spoilt, and very grateful to have such lovely, caring people around me. Photos above from the night.

So, the dilemma I am faced with is whether or not to stay in my current job. I have a few issues with my workplace, and I'm feeling a bit burnt out by having been teaching for almost three years now. I'm starting to think that it might be time to move on to a different career. Of course, now I have to sort out what skills I do have, and how I can apply them ......

Gardening blog

For those that might be interested, I have created a gardening blog with my best friend, Ali. You can view it here!

http://www.kiwigardeners.blogspot.com

The 94th Post

What a milestone!

Today is technically my last day of freedom, before Thursday heralds a return to the routine and monotony of work.

Ok, so it isn't all that bad. Surely you can get used to everything after a while, right? well I have certainly got used to being on holiday! it must be over six weeks now - a long time - and time enough to get settled into that routine of planning your day based on what you want to do.

I haven't done much today, but it's one of those days which isn't exactly inspiring. A little cold, grey, overcast. Kind of nothing weather, really. Just went for a walk with Tim which was nice, we had a competition to see how long I could go without talking, and I lasted around three minutes.

So in other news, Andy, who is staying with us at the moment, has brought a drum kit! so it's been fantastic listening to him play, as he is pretty damn talented. So if any of you guys need a drum teacher...... get in touch!

You have to ask yourself

More and more in life I'm coming to realize that love is the most important thing.

Love is what binds us together, people are joined by the bonds of love. Love is what connects us to one another. Love is what makes life worth living, it is what makes us smile. It is finding a connection with another person, realizing that we are essentially the same. Love is knowing that you are connected in some way, shape, or form to everyone and everything around you.

What puzzles me is that we are not taught to focus on love and compassion and empathy, but instead are lead to indulge in hate and despair and misery. We are persuaded to be discontented with what we have, we are encouraged to immerse ourselves in the negative aspects of life, disregarding the positive. We are disciplined into seeing the faults in others, rather than their better qualities.

Our world forces us to live either in the past or future - never in the present. It is through obsession in the past, worry for what the future might bring. We are forced (whether consciously or subconsciously) to live in fear.

I want to stop fearing things that happen that I have no control over. I want to live more and experience things and enjoy being alive and surround myself with people and with love and with life! I want to reach a point where I'm not afraid anymore, where I'm not worried with what people think about me, or if I'm good enough or SMART enough or have a good job. I want to rid my life of status anxiety and worry and fear. I think I'm taking the right steps to accomplishing this. I hope I can do it.

Zombie hunting

I wonder what lies inside.... only one way to find out! - I hope there's no Zombies!
Very spooky indeed! I think I can hear something......
Oh no! a Zombie is about to attack me! I'd better fend him off with this bit of piping I found!

Listen to the rain

Don't you just love the sound of the rain?

It's been so hot here, all day long. Muggy and Humid. Hovering around 30 degrees... that yucky, sticky heat. Summer is here, and the sandflies are out in force, making it look as though I have chicken pox. Nasty bites that itch and itch constantly, that you just want to scratch right off! ah, summer.

I do love Summer. I feel it's a time of the year when I'm at my most productive, and happiest. I'm pretty sure I suffer from seasonal depression, so summer and those long sunny days definately agree with me. Apart from the sandflies and mosquitoes of course! blood-sucking little fiends!

We've had a really busy week. Last week was heaps of fun. I caught up with people I hadn't seen for a while (perhaps Tim being out of the country had something to do with it?). I had a great time rocking the night away with James, Kath, and Amy to 'Good Laika' - a band which is well worth seeing. And to my delight, they even covered one of my favourite Beatle's songs "Don't let me down". The next day, Andy arrived from Canada. He was a friend of Tim's back in Tim's Kingston days and has now made the move to emigrate over here. So he's staying with us until he finds a place. He's a drummer and is looking for work, so if anyone knows of anything.... please contact me!
So yesterday we all headed off to the Wairarapa - stopping briefly at Kaitoke regional park on the way. Once in the "Wai" we lunched in Greytown (Corner cafe pies.... yum!) then went to see the 'Stonehenge Aotearoa' - our second visit and hopefully not our last. The highlight of the day for me was exploring the derelict "Haunted" house that lay in the middle of a field across the road from the Stonehenge. I have a fascination with such places, and so I made Tim stop the car so we could all troop on up and inspect it. It was dank and dark inside, the only sound pigeons fluttering around in the loft. It had an air of desolation about it, abandonment. A once stately house turned into a mouldering ruin. I'll post pictures up of it, because I think it's worth a look. We found a bit of piping beside the house, which came in handy for whacking Tim over the head when he turned into a Zombie..... TBC